spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
