I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
