Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
