Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
