Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
