I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
