if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
