I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
