Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Alive.
So much puke
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
