Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
