I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize