Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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