He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
