we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
