my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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