Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
