bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
