just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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