I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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