I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
that's an acceptable place to lick
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
