This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
