I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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