I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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