my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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