Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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