I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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