i would punch a child for taco bell
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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