do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
