He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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