I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
