Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
