p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
