Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
