He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
