every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just gift wrapped bread.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
