I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This baby is an asshole
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
