i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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