Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
