I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
