i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
