Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
