ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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