So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
