Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
