I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
