Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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