dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
