so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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