It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
