I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
